“But I’m free, and I should celebrate that, and experience the happy endings, and not live in fear.” And then, again, a few short words that speak a library: “Fear kills happiness, doesn’t it?” The word “gay” calls to mind our special knack for finding the light in the darkness, for building the dance floor off to the side of the cruel world.Īfter the meeting, I pulled Alfonso aside to thank him for the suggestion, and he continued. The original queer spaces were founded in secret, through codes and glances, and when we were able to be ourselves with one another, there was undeniable joy. The word “gay” speaks to our ability to do exactly that. We have to acknowledge that we survived what’s come before, and we have to celebrate being alive to face what’s ahead. We have to know where we’ve been.īut we also have to know where we are. The pain of finding your true self, by yourself, in a hostile world, and the pain of living in a world that is swinging back toward that hostility.Īnd it is important to remember those things. So much of the narrative around the queer experience is centered around trauma.
It is not an exaggeration to say that Alfonso’s request inspired a real and welcome shift in perspective. When we gathered over Zoom to plan stories about LGBTQ+ lives, Esquire’s Market Editor Alfonso Fernandez Navas said something so profound and significant that we will quote it in full:
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